Inviting people to a party (especially from the comfort of my computer) wasn’t hard. Baking cupcakes and making centerpieces that don’t look like something my 4-year-old made at preschool was a bit harder, but still not that difficult.
What’s hard is getting past the “hi, how are you,” taking off our shoes and our masks, and really getting to know one another. That part? It’s HARD. It’s hard because intentionally gathering women into community (and joining them there) is choosing to reach out, to connect, to love even though you might get hurt.
It’s possible – no, probable – that one of your friends is going to let you down. She’ll ignore too many phone calls, she’ll ditch your weekly happy hour for dinner with her new boyfriend, she’ll believe a lie she hears about you, she’ll roll her eyes at your story, she’ll invite all the other girls but you, she’ll hurt you. She may not mean to – or maybe she will – but your friend will probably hurt you at some point.
So what is the point? Why should we let people in, when they’re just going to hurt us like those other people did? And, to be fair, why should they let us in, when we might end up hurting them?
For my answer to those questions (and the rest of this post), visit (in)courage.
Hi. I’m visiting from Incourage. Just wanted to let you know your post really ministered to my heart. Thank you for being so upfront and honest on friendships. You have encouraged me today!
Lisa, I’m so glad this post spoke to you. Thank you for your comment!
Love your post… I also found you through (in)courage. I had this problem all of my life… I was raised by my father most of my life, along with two younger brothers. I was never around women or other girls.. it was mostly men and boys… let me tell you what.. the difference in “community” and their relationships… is HUGE! I knew how to relate to others the way men and boys related to each other. When I started getting older and having girl friends, it amazed me how much they stabbed each other in the backs… it has taken me even longer to make the decision to reach out my hand and heart even though I knew that getting hurt was likely.
Thank you so much for putting this out there!
Oh, wow, Angel. I didn’t even think about how hard/different this must be for someone growing up around mainly men. Thanks for sharing your story here! (And thanks for visiting from incourage. :) )